Thursday, January 26, 2012

Issues with Friends

Over the last few weeks, I have been going through a lot with friends.  I don't know what happened and that is what hurts.

A group of my friends had discussed something about a group we belong in and I was not part of that discussion for a very good reason.  I did not agree with the decision that was made for various reasons and I sent a rational, well thought out email to the group.  And I wondered if I did the right thing.  But, I thought my information was missing in the discussion.

A few days later, two of the people I thought I was friends with said they no longer wanted to be part of the group, one in person, the other via email.  And I was hurt as they gave me no reason why.  I don't ever want to hurt another person and I was hurt as they won't talk to me about it.

So, I tried to move on.  I felt I had did nothing wrong.  Over the next few weeks, while figuring things out, more and more information came to me and I found out that one of them may not have been the true friend I thought she was.

So through all of this, it is hard for me to trust who are my true friends and who were not, especially as I heard more from other people.  But one of my resolutions was not to worry about other people think about me as long as I did my best.  My faith in people was restored when a friend called me to tell me something that she knew may not have made my day, but wanted to hear it from me.  A lot of people have been there for me and I have to focus on that.

So, why am I writing this as I am trying to not to focus on it?  It's a plead to be honest to your friends.  Even if what you have to tell them may hurt at first, but it allows communication to happen.  And that is important.  If you truly value them as a friend, they will appreciate the fact that you allowed them to speak their mind.  And your friendship will grow.  If not, the other person may wonder what else you were hiding.

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